why i love oprah: a shortlist

1. despite all the sugar coating and melodramatic production value, the gist of all her overall mantra is incredibly wise. and true.
2. i cry almost every single episode (ESPECIALLY when she showers deserving families with presents). and i love crying happy tears.
3. i, too, love to eat and aimiably make fun of "naturally" thin people at every possible occasion.
4. i love her fakey relationship with steadman even though she and gayle are totally life partners.
5. nate berkus is my hero i.e. he is too good looking for words
6. i make time to watch oprah vs doing more productive things like showering, laundry, etc.
7. she makes it completely acceptable for celebrities to embarrass themselves on national television. fig. 1.
8. she can make an entire studio audience + me in my living room start screaming hysterically over... anything. anything she wants. she can do it. she's oprah.
9. in loving oprah, i realize that i'm not so different from that stay-at-home mom who might be watching in texas. because everyone loves oprah, and if you don't, you might as well be spitting in the face of reason. or indirectly saying "fuck poor people" or "suck it AIDS."
10. and if you sift through the sob stories, and makeovers, and voyeuristic trips into gwyneth paltrow's home gym - you will find that her overall message of female empowerment, self love and agency makes her the ultimate feminist.

OPRAH FOR PRESIDENT 2012!!!!!1


fig. 1